Review: THE PERFECT STORM

Bottom Line: The imperfect film.

Ethel Shatford: “If it was good news, he would’ve called us.”
The thing that really irks me about THE PERFECT STORM is that I had read that it was a disaster film (and it’s made pretty much clear in the title), but the actual disaster didn’t get started for a whole forty minutes, which almost brought me to the point of thinking that “Perfect Storm” was some kind of metaphor. The basic layout is as follows: 1-30 minutes – characters are introduced with enough relationship statuses, innuendos, overly charismatic drama to create an entire soap opera; 31-40 minutes – the characters leave their spouses/fiancées, board the ship, but continue with the non sequiturs and double entendres that make you groan, “Enough already!”; 41-120 minutes – over an hour of TITANIC-esque intensity and dazzling (but terrifying, considering this is based on a true story) disaster scenes–which is exciting, but it makes you think, “We go from soap opera…to disaster?”, because the beginning does NOT make sense to the rest of the film; 121-128 minutes – the film is coming to an end, with slightly less intensity, but thankfully no “return of the soap opera”; 129 minutes – the film’s over, folks, you can go home now. That’s the gist of this mediocre movie. It’s just what you expect of a shipwreck film.
Captain Billy Tyne: “I always find the fish!  Always!”
GRADE: C

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