Review: RED DAWN

Bottom Line: Makes Pearl Harbor look like Glory.

Erica: [to Stepan] “Do you speak German?”
Matt Eckert: “So what if he does?  You don’t.”
Stepan Gorsky: “Gorsky, Stepan Yevgenyvitch–!”
Robert: “Nobody gives a damn who you are!
There were many great, great films made in the ’80s, some of them that even trademarked pop culture. Sadly enough, RED DAWN is not one of them.

RED DAWN starts off with a high school. It looks like FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF, in fact, the way everyone in class is bored, jokes are being whispered among the class, etc. Then, out of the blue, a bunch of war vehicles come in and start shooting up the school. This is what Hollywood in 1984 titled “World War III”. (?!) From there on, if you’ve ever read the comics or seen the TV adaptation of THE WALKING DEAD, then you know what I’m talking about when I say the rest of RED DAWN is just like THE WALKING DEAD, except with Spanish-speaking Russian military (?!) instead of zombies. It’s just a movie about surviving from apocalyptic havoc.

Like I said, there are many good ’80s films out there. But like I also said, RED DAWN just isn’t one of them, mainly because the plot is so superficial that it’s silly, and the worst thing filmmakers can do to give film a bad reputation is to put the concept of war in a silly light. Believe it or not, the only real reason this one is remembered is because it was the first film to be released with a U.S. “PG-13” rating. If you’re looking for a good film that has Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey in a group together, don’t waste your time with this. Try DIRTY DANCING instead. It’s a lot more even, and it’s so much less flawed.
Tom Eckert: “Boys!  Avenge me!  Avenge me!”

GRADE: D

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