Bottom Line: Mirror Mirror on the wall…actually it’s off the wall and deliberately annoying.
Directed by: Tarsem Singh
Starring: Armie Hammer, Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Mare Winningham, Michael Lerner, Nathan Lane, Sean Bean
Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is THE universal example of a childhood favorite. One who has not seen it at least twice before the age of eight is quite simply a poor excuse for a human being. It’s too bad the year of its seventy-fifth anniversary happened to be the year Walt Disney Pictures went to hell. John Carter bombed enough to put chairman Rich Ross out of business; uproar began when the company acquired Lucasfilm and began diabolical plans for another Star Wars trilogy; etc. Only to top it off, an insult to their beloved classic, known as Mirror Mirror. Perhaps I’m the only one who seems to believe the double-talk title is an apt representation of the repetitive, obnoxious plot. Unfortunately, young children are the huge bull’s eye to this film’s schlocky sort of charm. If parents decide to raise their kids with this debacle, then perhaps December 21st (also the very day Snow White was released in 1937) will see the world’s end.
Mirror Mirror is an abysmal festival of ADHD, fashion, screeching (way to get an audience’s attention), and routine. It’s like that little bratty girl who does the rudest, most annoying to get your attention; similarly, I’d strongly advise ignoring the film. There’s a huge lack of clarity here. A major example: of what genre is the film? It seems like a comedy, but I evoked not a single chuckle, and half the “jokes” are double entendres no kid would possibly comprehend. There’s a good amount of vocabulary here, also, if any child cares to learn new words from pure entertainment. I noticed Julia Roberts employing the words “pretentious” and “digress” within the first minute of the film. How sad that the former word describes the film perfectly, partially as a result of a lot of need for the latter word. Again, it’s supposed to be humorous, I guess. Mirror Mirror is also unclear as to when exactly it takes place. The costumes appear to represent those somewhere between the 13th and 18th centuries, but I can’t imagine William Wallace and George Washington saying “yeah right” or knowing what a “pinky swear” was.
The characters remain only somewhat faithful to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and the Grimm tale on which it was based. Snow White (Lily Collins) is depicted as neither beautiful nor smart. On the other hand, the Queen (solid-enough Julia Roberts) displays both qualities, or at least her narcissistic narration seems to believe in such. When presenting to an audience who is too young to distinguish between good and evil, I’m not quite sure it’s such a good idea to make the evil Queen seem admirable. I shudder to think that anything about the film was dissembled to look admirable.