OSCAR! (It’s here, it’s here!)


It’s here!  It’s here!  Well, I guess not yet, but come eight o’ clock, that’s probably what I’ll be screaming.  I’m gonna fly through this post (gonna fly now…flying high now…), ’cause I kinda want to see the red carpet stuff too.  (I know I know it’s not something I should be doing: watching all the red carpet crap.  Judge not lest ye be judged, brother.)

Well, it must be Sunday because, dear lord am I excited.  Ah there I go with my horrible puns again.  Sorry ’bout that.  Guess I’d better hand it over to what I’ve been trying to preface all along: my predictions.

Read the following in a Joker voice (but only because Heath Ledger won an Oscar for that role, and may he rest in peace):

“And here…



Best Picture


12 Years a Slave (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Will win: 12 Years a Slave
Possible upset: Gravity
Should win: Captain Phillips, 12 Years a Slave, or The Wolf of Wall Street. I gave all three of those a full four stars out of four.

Best Director


12 Years a Slave (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Will win: Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave)
Possible upset: Alfonso Cuarón (Gravity)
Should win: Well, I’m pretty biased here, but…Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street).

Best Actor


Dallas Buyers Club (Focus Features)

Will win: Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Possible upset: Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)
Should win: Well, if Leo’s ever gonna win that Oscar, now’s the time.

Best Actress


Blue Jasmine (Sony Pictures Classics)

Will win: Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine), or my wrath shalt cometh, and ’twill be deadly.
Possible upset: Meryl Streep (August: Osage County). Come on, she’s Meryl Streep for crying out loud!
Should win: Cate Blanchett. Better be her.

Best Supporting Actor


Dallas Buyers Club (Focus Features)

Will win: Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Possible upset: Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)
Should win: Leto. His performance must be seen, and even at that point, it’s too great to believe.

Best Supporting Actress


12 Years a Slave (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Will win: Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)
Possible upset: Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
Should win: J-Law. Or June Squibb (Nebraska). Or Nyong’o, I suppose.

Best Original Screenplay


Her (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Will win: Her
Possible upset: American Hustle
Should win: Blue Jasmine. Woody Allen’s 14th (or 15th, I’ve lost count) nomination for screenwriting, and his fourth win, if it weren’t for that stupid scandal.

Best Adapted Screenplay


12 Years a Slave (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Will win: 12 Years a Slave
Possible upset: The Wolf of Wall Street
Should win: Before Midnight, Captain Phillips, Philomena, 12 Years a Slave, and The Wolf of Wall Street are nominated. Each of which completely impressed me in their writing (and each of them with more than just that.)

Now onto the rest of the list.  I know the lesser awards aren’t everybody’s thing (even if, in my opinion, they’re equals to the main awards you see above).  So I’ll just skate through the list as quickly as possible, with my predictions for the winners only (and some possible upsets, okay, okay)…

Best Cinematography


Best Animated Feature


Best Visual Effects


Best Costume Design

The Great Gatsby
(Possible upsets: American Hustle or 12 Years a Slave)

Best Documentary Feature

The Act of Killing
(Possible upsets: The Square or 20 Feet from Stardom)

Best Foreign Language Film

The Great Beauty (Italy)
(Possible upset: The Hunt – Denmark)

Best Film Editing

(Possible upset: 12 Years a Slave)

Best Production Design

The Great Gatsby
(Possible upsets: Gravity and 12 Years a Slave)

Best Animated Short Film

Get a Horse!

Best Original Score

(Possible upset: Philomena)

Best Makeup & Hairstyling

Dallas Buyers Club

Best Sound Editing


Best Sound Mixing

(Possible upset: Inside Llewyn Davis)

Best Documentary Short

The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
(Possible upset: CaveDigger)

Best Live Action Short Film

Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just Before Losing Everything)

Best Original Song

“Let It Go” from Frozen


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